How the Elk got his tattoo

Hi chaps, thought I'd see if I could do a short story in the quiet moments between customers.  The comments reply thing seems not to like me, so apologies if I don't appear to reply to your helpful feedback.  I am sitting here stabbing at the keyboard in frustration!
I think I also need an illustrator!

How the elk got his tattoo

A long time ago, three years ago, deep in the forests of central Sweden, lived a family of elks. There was Mama Elk, Papa Elk, Peter Elk and little Stina Elk.

Peter and Stina were very fond of eating the berries that grew on bushes all over the forest floor. They started in June with wild strawberries and when they were finished, the blueberries were ready. They ate the berries and stuck their bright blue tongues out at each other.  Mama Elk sighed and told them to stop doing that before their father go home, so they went out into a clearing and stuck their blueberry tongues out at the crossbills instead.

After the blueberries, the lingon berries were ripe.  They were bright red and so sour the berries made Peters’ and Stinas’ eyes cross!  That made them giggle.

One day at the end of October, Peter and Stina found a mound of strange, oval, hard, brown berries, a fire stone ring and an old grinder box on a beach.  They had never seen brown berries before, so Peter licked them. A tingle ran up his tongue and down his back and out of his tail.  He was so surprised; he sat down right on the old fire place. Some of the coals were still hot! Ooof, up he jumped and his long spindly legs went up in all directions and he landed on the coals again! Stina laughed and laughed so much she fell over too.

When they got home, Mama Elk cleaned Peter’s burns and put dock leaves on them to help. Papa Elk said that the brown beans were called coffee and said that Peter’s burns looked just like the beans.  Peter looked at his burns.  “Oh, what a pretty pattern” exclaimed Stina, “they make you look different”.  Peter felt quite proud and started to parade around the forest showing all his friends, who got quite jealous.  Their mums and dads were not so pleased though!  And that was how the elk got his tattoo.

The Tattooed Elk Totters into the world

Today is the start of a new life for me.  Yes, that's another new life.  I must admit that I'm not sure how many I can take, but am working on the cat theory at the moment.

Today is the day when the Tattooed Elk, my little company, takes its first step into the real world.  I'm going to convert the old mission hall here, in the hamlet, to a cafe and art gallery to open next year, but in the meanwhile, I've had the opportunity to run a summer cafe in the old spinnery in Habo, starting today and finishing 11th August.

Consequently I've been baking and have run out of freezer space!  I'm hoping I'll have time to get something baked fresh every day as it opens at 11am and I get up at 6am.  After 2 years of not working it's a bit daunting to say the least, which is why I'm writing this at 3:45 in the morning instead of getting a good night's sleep.  Still, we'll see how it goes and if  all else fails, I can always go and buy loads of doughnuts and flog them for sixpence.

The tax office here has a somewhat different attitude to the one in the UK, where they are just basically interested in taking your money.  Here you are categorised, percentaged and they want to see things like contracts and know about your experience before they give you permission to start a business.

If you're wondering about my experience, I helped out at a cafe when I was a student.....it was a long time ago. Not sure that getting your bottom pinched as a silver service waitress counts, but hey, it was a hospital cafe!  Strange how life turns out.

Midsummer Madness

Well, it's now Midsummer. Gosh, Karin, you say, I think you'll find there are a couple of days to go yet! Technically, you'd be right. The Public Holiday is on Saturday (for you UK lot; in Sweden, the Bank Holidays are on the day they fall on, not Mondays. If the holiday is on a Sunday and you work in a normal office, tough, you've missed it) and today is Thursday.  However, all the best parties are on Midsummer Eve so everyone, absolutely everyone - even the big supermarkets, take MSE off, or at the very least the afternoon, if you happen to be a profit driven retail giant. In fact, unless you are a capitalist, money driven b%*, you take the afternoon off the day before in order to prepare the herring, cream cakes, strawberries and schnapps that are eaten in totally ginormous amounts, whilst dancing round the midsummer pole singing about green frogs.  We all know what folk songs are really about, but that one, in particular, frankly, has me worried.  The actual Midsummer Day is celebrated by recovering, generally in a swimming costume, by a lake with more strawberries.
Consequently, today, Thursday had me driving around like a mad woman to get everything in before everything shuts in the afternoon.  There can be no more baking, because there is no more freezer space, so I'll just have to crochet, sew, organise lists, my head, the office and the paperwork in prep for the big day on Tuesday.

What? what? What about Tuesday??  More on that tomorrow!!!

Haymeadows at Midsummer

Growing things

Spring was so late this year that everything started growing like there was no tomorrow as soon as the soil thawed and the night temperatures got above +2C. In the UK, we are used to say 'OK, that needs doing/pulling up/cutting down/layering etc, I'll do it at the weekend'. Here, honey, if you do that, say on Tues, you won't see whatever it is for the other plants or because it's grown 10m and you have no idea how to use a chainsaw.  So the lesson I've learnt from this year is 'do it NOW'.  Probably not a bad lesson all round actually, and would cut down the number of piles of stuff dotted around, especially in the office - just saying.

I've cut out 4 diamond shaped veg beds in the bottom lawn.  Well, I say 'I'.. bless Graham's little cotton socks...  Each took 4 bags of soil, the compost bin not being far enough advanced yet, so I've only got 3 earthed up (ran out of money!). I've planted peas and beans in one, broccoli and cabbage in the other and spinach and parsnips in the third.  And I fuss over them like a hen over her chicks.  After one leaf of a broccoli seedling was nibbled, there were no longer any snails in the garden and the ground is now not brown, but blue (slug pellets for you non-gardening types).  I'm just waiting for the hares to discover the plants!

Graham built me a greencottage (too small for a green house) and I've got 5 tomato plants in that, there are 4 chilli plants on the window sill and I've cleared around the wild strawberries, so not doing too bad for a first year, so far.   This afternoon, I'll have to go out and get some birch branches for the peas.  There was a frost last night, so excuse me, whilst I take the blankets off the beds....